I can't remember being as happy as I was on my wedding day. I felt like I was on a cloud and nothing that anyone said or did could ruin it. My husband and I decided to see each other before the ceremony so that we could get most of the pictures done and we could enjoy more of the reception together. I remember being so nervous...what if he didn't like my gown? Or my veil, makeup, hair? I was in a panic. Then he turned and saw me in the corner and I will never forget the look on his face. It was as if he was seeing an angel. I was the only one that saw that look and that's how it should be. It was too intimate of a moment for 100+ people to witness.
The ceremony was a blur and before we knew it we were officially Mr. and Mrs.
The Best Man later said that he was amazed that I didn't drop the ring when I reached for it because my
hands were shaking so bad. I was surprised when he said this, I was a little nervous, but not as much as the day before during the rehearsal. The day before when I saw the chairs and ceremony set up I felt like it was my execution the next morning. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't getting cold feet about marrying this man, it was the people. I don't enjoy large crowds and when I'm the center of attention bad things happen. But by some miracle, nothing catastrophic happened. I didn't drop the ring, I repeated my vows loud and clear, I only tripped slightly, and my mother's sobbing was only moderate.
The reception was full of the awkward moments that every wedding requires. The kiss demands from the guests, the weird uncalled for glares from his distant aunt,the inappropriate behavior from some of the younger guests, and snide comments from my older sister. But up on my fluffy cloud everything was perfect and nothing bothered me. I was a newlywed with a bright persistent hope for the future and a family of my own. We danced for hours along with the wedding party and took family portraits. I remember one instance when his mother stood between us during a photo and I wanted to switch places. "Oh, no no no! It's fine!" She said. "No, I would prefer to be by my Husband." I replied. It was such a small moment, but it was the first time I was "allowed" to stand up to her. From that day on she had lost control of him and I was now more important and higher on the priority list than her...even though it's been that way since we started dating. Everyone played nice and didn't mention how young we were and congratulated us. The guests went through the motions of complimenting me on my ensemble, my handsome husband, and fawning over my rings, but days later I couldn't get rid of the feeling that everything they said was dripping with sarcasm...or was it only paranoia? I was so used to hearing nasty condescending comments from family and strangers that I couldn't believe that these people were genuine. I keep telling myself that even if I was 38 years old verses 18 people would still have a pessimistic view on our marriage and be making bets on how long it would last. People have very little hope in marriage these days.
Just for kicks here's a few more pictures!
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